The Longest Lunch of Your Life

Its the first day of sixth grade. Not only is it completely intimidating that you are back to being the youngest, which places you at bottom of the pool but it completely contrasts to being the big turf that you were in 5th grade where you felt that you ruled the school. To make things worse, you're back to not knowing anyone; which is why lunch was one of the most terrifying and daunting places to be.  Lunch defined who you were and who you were going to be for the next 3 years of your life; and you had one chance, thats it. Once chance to determine- are you going to be in the popular crowd? You walk in and its as if all the sudden, 200 eyeballs are looking in your direction.  Your mind starts racing, "is my hair alright.. i hope i don't trip..is there a booger coming out of my nose?"  You have to stop and remind yourself that you can do this, everyone is in the same boat as you. There are kids who are already sitting and you think to yourself, their moms must love them more since they got a packed lunch.  Then your eyes drift back to look over at the lunch line, its horrifyingly long, it looks like its never-ending. But  eventually, you get to the back of the line. It feels like hours, days, weeks passing before you finally get to the front. "We only have sloppy Joes left" comes out the mouth a big, hairy woman. You didn't even hear what she said because all you can stare at is that mole on her chin; it has one long, lanky strand of hair and you think to yourself, ew.  Finally you've gotten your food, it felt like forever but its not over yet. No, not even close, the hard part is still to come.  You scan the room, concentrating more then you did just 20 minutes earlier in your math class.  Fear overcomes all emotions, as it is time to choose where you're going to be sitting. The pressure is enough to make your head explode and you feel like curling up in a ball and just dying. You know better then to sit on your own, i mean, everyone can make friends. You have to be a super freak if there is not one person who will sit by you. But you know thats not you, so you continue to graze over all the faces. Spotted across the room you see a group of kids laughing...well, everyone likes to laugh, right? So you head over that direction. You place your tray on the table, "Can i sit here?" Your heart stops as they all look up to see the face to match the voice. "Yea of course," one girl says and suddenly i can breath again, "whats your name?" Wow, what a relief; that was way easier then you had imagined.

When I’m asked to look at myself as a writer and rhetor, I feel it’s hard to define myself in just one or two sentences.  See, I went to high school in Scotland, where my English class was extremely intense and taken very seriously. However, we spent most of our time studying English literature, most of which the writers were British. We touched slightly on other forms of writing but mostly concentrated on British poems and novels. It taught me a lot; you can place a poem in front of me and I can almost guarantee I can find the hidden meaning or agenda the writer was trying to portray.  But that also, you can say, can be accounted for as one of my weaknesses. I’ve focused all my learning in one general area that I’ve not really been able to dive into other natures of writing, which has always been an interest to me. I recall back in middle school, when we got to do creative writing, it was always one of my favorites.  Using the imagination to create a story allows freedom in speech which I find much more enjoyable then simply writing about other writers’ works which is what I did mostly. Studying other remarkable British writers, however, really benefited me in the long run; on the SATs, my writing score was exceptional in comparison to other parts on the SAT due to the fact that I have a British writing technique which is looked up upon to the American readers.  I really want to be able to do more though, expand on what I am capable of now; I want to branch off into new writing styles because I really do enjoy learning it (especially now that I’ve switched my major to English!) That just reminds me of another one of my writing weaknesses…my writing is occasionally just a little stiff.  I’m so used to writing, I want to say serious, types of essays that they don’t always outcome with a lighthearted, fun feel; just full of facts and annotations. I want to learn to have more flow in my writing because although my writing will get me the good grades in English Literature, I’m not entirely sure yet I can say the  same for freestyle creative writing or persuasive writing  (although I do hope so).  I guess the only way to improve this is to just practice. Write, write, and write, until it becomes just that little bit easier every time.  That’s why I feel this class will be good for me, even just these blog posts is teaching me to ease up and have more leeway in my writing then I would have had back in high school.  It’s going to help me take what I already know and develop more techniques in addition.  I would say one of the most influential writers to me, although it may seem a little “college” for me to say this, is Eminem. For example, his song Space Bound  ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JByDbPn6A1o&ob=av2e )is so lyrically beautiful. It is literally so enticing; a fictional song with the most heart-wrenching lyrics it could give you shivers.  The lyrics grab your attention with emotion and it’s so inspirational to the point where you want to be able to affect people that way.  Another inspirational writer to me was one that I studied in high school, his name William Wordsworth. The reason he has inspired me to want to become a better writer was because I felt that I really understood what he was saying and I felt I could really connect to his poetry. For example his poem Expostulation and Reply (http://www.blackcatpoems.com/w/expostulation_and_reply.html ) I really enjoyed studying this because he and I enjoy a common pleasure, nature. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a ‘nature freak’. The outdoors makes me happy and here, he is saying that it is not just books and people you learn from, but you can really be inspired by just taking in what goes on around you and learn to appreciate life to its fullest.